i have been absent for a long time.
i made my life tough. 
Don't ever try and work two full time jobs.

 This is what my life was like:

1. wake up and go to my design job, 8 -5 pm
1.5. sneak a nap in the spare office, on the floor, sneakily
2. take the bus to my next job 6pm -12 am.
2.5. take a shameless nap on the floor if a student didn't come to his/her class
3. sleep
4. eat
5. get fat

This is true
i taught English to small Asian people.
To be accurate i also taught Russians, Germans, Italians, Arabians, Brazilians,  etc etc.
i don't know what size they are either.
Actually i didn't teach that many Asians.
Mostly Brazilians.
They're nice
i worked for an online English school. i would interact with the student or students via an online 'classroom' or through Skype.

i spoke to so many people over the 4 months that i worked there. From all over the world! Mothers, doctors, many, many engineers from Brazil, lawyers, students, high school and university level, retired men and women, the list is long... 
There were many fun and interesting conversations and lessons, and many boring, tedious and frustrating lessons as well. 

Here are some stories from my life as an online English teacher. Things that were said to me by the many students that i taught.

"I send you 1000 kisses"

One of my private students told me that he chose me because he didn't want a female teacher. Imagine his surprise, he informed me, when this 'Austen Gordon' turned out to be female! 
i was amused. Then i uploaded a picture of myself on my teacher profile.

"I think you need a Russian boyfriend"

My one student told me that he had had about 700 lessons with the company and he was very much aware when the teacher had fallen asleep during the class. That made me laugh.
For the record i have only fallen asleep once. 

"My name is Jesus and I work at the Brazilian customer support centre for your company, shhhh, it's a secret"

One of the conversation lessons was entitled, 'Sharing embarrassing stories'. 
This Chinese man told me that he discovered that he had a hole in his pants while walking down the street. He then proceeded to "grab his buttocks in shame and run down the road". Just picture that, my dear.

There were students that you had an immediate connection to that you hoped would book you again for lessons and ones that were so painful to work with that the very thought of another lesson with them made you curl up in agony on the inside.

"These are socks, he explained to me, and they are very 'feetly'. 
That was perhaps my favourite English word invention that i can remember. 

There were students with awful sound quality, really loud background noises and an apparent inability to mute their microphones when they really needed to. There were the frustrations of the language barrier, the need to explain something over and over, trying to understand what the student is trying to say to you. There were also rude students and ones that didn't bother to listen. 

But it was the students that i connected with, having them understand what was being taught, being able to help them learn and hearing how pleased they were with themselves as they learnt new words and as they formed great sentences. It was those students that made the job worth it. At times it was just a job, but sometimes i was able to see what we as English teachers are able to do for others. The changes we are able to help facilitate in the lives of others...

Thank you, my teacher, thank you.
-as said by the Arabic students-

Herro Teasher!

by on 19.2.14
i have been absent for a long time. i made my life tough.  Don't ever try and work two full time jobs.  This is what my life w...
A small town far, far away.......